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Linsday Lohan’s Vagina: The Eye of Sauron aka “The Lidless Eye”
Surrounded by flaming red, it burns the eyes and the flesh of all who touch it. Getting in sight of The Eye of Sauron can prove deadly due to its bad temper and numerous incurable venereal diseases. It once possessed a clit ring, but it has long since been lost. It is especially advised to avoid The Eye of Sauron during menstruation as it can be extremely violent and messy. It is nicknamed “The Lidless Eye” due to its constantly-open nature. The Lidless Eye shuts for no man.